Your Beautiful Soul
by LozieDeanon
Summary: Barnaby is thrown into a parallel universe where the hero duo Tigress and Emily keep the peace in Sternbild. With Emily missing, and Barnaby at a complete loss for how to return home, he reaches out for Tetsuko... and with this sex-switch, starts to see his partner in a new light. Mid-series, Barnaby/Fem!Kotetsu, deanon from the Tiger & Bunny Anon Meme.
1. You've confused me with someone else

A fill from the Tiger and Bunny Anon Meme. Prompt: _A NEXT accident switches Barnaby with another Barnaby from a parallel universe… one where he and Kotetsu are girls! Barnaby, during his stay in World B, starts to fall for fem!Kotetsu…_

This is my first time uploading an in-progress fic to Fanfiction. I will stop posting new chapters to the Anon Meme, and once I've caught up to the currently posted chapters, all new updates will appear here. Updates will be weekly, on Saturdays.

Let's see how this goes! :)

* * *

Barnaby awoke unable to tell which way was up. Confusion, and rising panic, rattled inside his head as he gradually remembered what had happened—light, and force, running ahead and losing sight of Kotetsu as the building collapsed around them…

And then waking up now, an indeterminate amount of time later. The camera system in his helmet remained offline, and he felt too weak to lift his head, let alone use his Hundred Power, which may or may currently be expired. He tried to twitch his legs, but an incredible weight pressed down on them and trapped him. Buried alive—most likely by the rubble.

_Well, this isn't good._ Until he knew his power had recharged, he shouldn't attempt to move. Thrashing about without knowing what was above him could dislodge something fatally heavy. The difference in strength between now and when his power returned (which would hopefully be soon) might be the difference between life and death.

Relax. Wait. Focus. Remember what happened. He and Kotetsu had entered a criminal hideout—Rock Bison had been there, too—only to realize that the entire place had been rigged with a chain of explosives. The entrance collapsed behind them, and they had no choice but to proceed forward, rubble and shrapnel ravaging their armor suits. By a stroke of luck, none of the lighter-costumed heroes had been there. Barnaby saw an opportunity to run ahead, get closer to the suspect before he escaped forever, and he got close, he knew he did… but then there was some sort of light…

Barnaby's helmet winked back to life, glowing and pinging and running diagnostics. The battery was low, but not drained. Pressure registered on nearly all parts of his suit, but nothing threatened its structure. The suit had saved his life once again. Preliminary scans of the materials surrounding him detected concrete, steel, copper and iron, plastic. Rubble, as Barnaby had suspected, even though the camera remained offline.

_Is Kotetsu okay?_

Barnaby tried to lift something—arms, legs, and less ambitiously, his hands and feet—and though he felt his strength returning, he still couldn't resist the weight piled above him. Had it been an hour since he used his power? He couldn't be sure, and so long as the weight stayed stable, he shouldn't make any sudden moves.

But Kotetsu might have made some sudden moves. What if Kotetsu was nearby, buried alive like Barnaby, but much more likely to do something stupidly life-threatening? What if he had burned through his power already, and the shifted debris was about to crush him, armor and all? But Barnaby had no idea where he was, or even if he would be in time to rescue him—

"_Bunny?"_

His communicator crackled to life, and a wave of relief rushed through Barnaby. _Kotetsu is alive_.

"Yes, I'm here!" Barnaby said. "Alive and well, but a little stuck."

A growl of frustration ripped through Barnaby's speakers, slightly obscured by radio static. "_Dammit, Bunny! What the hell were you thinking running out ahead of me?! You could've gotten yourself killed!_"

Barnaby smiled even as Kotetsu berated him. His voice sounded a little bit higher-pitched than usual, just by a few keys, but he chalked that up to communicator interference.

"I thought I could head off the explosions," he replied honestly.

"_Well, you didn't! You scared me half to death, that's what you did, charging ahead like that! Partners are supposed to stick together!_"

Barnaby winced. He understood interference in the communicator, but Kotetsu was usually not this _shrill._ "Please save that lecture for when I'm on the surface. Can you pinpoint my suit?"

"_Yeah, I'm locked on. Hang in there, Bunny, we'll get you dug out soon._"

Hang in there. All right. Barnaby closed his eyes and took as deep a breath as he could, exhaling slowly. He could 'hang in there' for as long as he needed.

_And Kotetsu's alive. He's okay. _

Gradually, Barnaby heard faint sounds above him. Muffled voices, the whine of a drill. _Probably Rock Bison._ And then another distant call, this time without a communicator: "Bunny! Bunny, we're coming!"

Barnaby's brow furrowed. Kotetsu's voice still sounded far too high. Could there have been a gas leak, something that would alter his voice? Impossible, the suits had filters to prevent them from inhaling gases. Then maybe some other kind of muffler, either blocking Kotetsu's voice or obstructing Barnaby's hearing—

"Almost… there!" he heard another voice, Rock Bison's, definitely. "We're coming for you, Emily!"

_…Emily?_

His mother's name. Even as a rather common name, Barnaby always thought of his mother first whenever he heard it. Why would Rock Bison be shouting for 'Emily?' Had there been civilians in the area before they charged in and the building collapsed? Everything strange in this situation had a halfway rational explanation, but these compounding excuses just made Barnaby's heart sink. _Something is wrong._

Experimentally, Barnaby curled a fist and tried to activate his power—the exhilarating tingle of Hundred Power surged through him. "Wait, stop digging and back away! I think I can jump out!"

"Hop to it, Bunny!" Kotetsu said with his strange, high voice. "We're all clear!"

Barnaby curled his abs and sat up, body and arms clearing away the rubble as easily as if he were swimming. Then, using the voices as a guide, he tucked his legs underneath him, pointed toward the surface, and jumped as hard as he could. He broke free from the rubble within seconds, and landed hard on solid ground again. Glad to be in the freedom of open air, Barnaby stretched his legs and tried to return blood flow to all parts of his body.

"Yes! Nice one!" Barnaby heard Kotetsu cheer behind him as he stood up again. "Seriously, I don't know why you have to scare me… like… When did you get tall?"

Barnaby didn't feel any taller. With his camera still not working, Barnaby flipped open his faceplate and glanced at his feet. No difference. "I don't know what you mean."

He turned to look back at his fellow heroes. Rock Bison stood a little off to the side, presumably staring at him, but Barnaby's attention immediately fell to Kotetsu—well, Wild Tiger—_well_, the hero who stood to the side and wore a suit of green, white, and black armor with a tiger-themed faceplate.

It wasn't just Kotetsu's voice that was wrong. Something was wrong with his body, too. Frankly, it was a _female_ body. Barnaby could see delicate shaping in the suit designed to accommodate a female form—broader hips, narrower waist, altered chest plate. The armor on his—her?—shoulders was slimmer, the gauntlets a hair thinner, and the 'Softbank' logo stretched across her—_do NOT think of those, Barnaby, I forbid it._

The hero flipped up her faceplate, revealing a smaller domino mask beneath it: dark blue with a white border, framing bright amber eyes on a tanned face. She lacked Kotetsu's distinctive beard, and without it, looked almost ten years younger than the veteran hero.

"…Bunny?" she asked quietly.

There was only one person in the entire world who called Barnaby that. No matter what Kotetsu looked like—a _woman_, how was that possible? Had he been transformed?—this had to be Barnaby's partner. Half at a loss of what to do, Barnaby removed his busted helmet and shook his hair free.

The female-Kotetsu let out a small shriek. "Ohmigod Bunny, your hair!"

"What happened to it?" Barnaby tried to look, but failed.

"It's gone! Like, half of it is gone! It's so short now!" Before Barnaby could question any part of that statement, the female-Kotetsu plowed on, "Bunny, you're a boy! You've turned into a boy!"

_Turned into a…_ "I've always been a boy."

Female-Kotetsu gaped at him. "Huh?"

"I've always been a boy. You're the one who's turned into a woman, Kotetsu."

"No, I haven't! I'm the same as ever! And you've never jumbled up my name like that before!"

"I didn't jumble it. Your name is Kotetsu T. Kaburagi," Barnaby insisted. "And _Kotetsu_, you are the one who's been turned into a woman!"

"It's _Tetsuko_!" the woman stamped her foot. "_Tetsuko _T. Kaburagi! And since you're obviously not Bunny, I want to know what you've done with her!"

"But I am Bun—well, I'm not, you just _call_ me Bunny because you think it's funny when it's actually juvenile and petty—"

Tetsuko advanced, stomping across the rubble, with a cold, furious glint in those very familiar and usually so-warm eyes. "I know my partner when I see her! And you, asshole, are not Emily Brooks Jr at all!"

"My name is Barnaby!" Barnaby pointed at himself. "_Barnaby_ Brooks Jr! There's never been an Emily!"

"LIAR!" Tetsuko slapped Barnaby across the face—if not for his lingering Hundred Power, she might have cut his face with her gauntlets. Even uninjured, Barnaby dropped his helmet out of shock anyway. "I don't care who you say you are—tell me what you've done with Bunny!"

"I—I haven't—" At a loss, Barnaby turned to Rock Bison, still standing by. "You can tell her, right? My partner is Wild Tiger. Tiger and Barnaby, for Apollon Media."

"That's… not right," Bison said slowly. "It's Tigress and Emily for Apollon Media. And I met Tigress in high school. You're definitely the thing that's different here." Bison folded his arms and shook his head a little bit. "But how did we get a tracking lock on that suit when we were looking for Emily's?"

"Dr. Saito built suits for my partner and me," Barnaby explained, gesturing to the suit. "Of course they'd be synced."

"That's a lie!" Tetsuko jumped in. "Saito built suits for Bunny and me! Are you saying he built a third suit and slapped them with Bunny's logos—"

"There are only two suits!" Barnaby snapped at Tetsuko, against his better judgment. "One was for me, one was for Kotetsu. These are all _my_ logos."

"If you're talking about me, my name is Tetsuko! Te-tsu-ko! Say it right!"

"But if you're my partner, then your name is Kotetsu! Wild Tiger!"

"It's _Tigeress_, dammit!"

"_Both of you_!" Bison bellowed, and the two fell silent. "Something definitely happened down there, and now the world is different. Shouting won't decide who's right."

Tetsuko folded her arms and huffed, derailing Barnaby's own annoyance. _I've seen Kotetsu make that face so many times, exactly like this woman…_

"Let's go back to the transports. We'll talk with Agnes and some other heroes, and then we can resume search-and-rescue for Emily. But… Barnaby, right?"

"Ah—yes," Barnaby frowned. Bison really sounded like he had never heard Barnaby's name before.

"We'll get to the bottom of this. If you're Emily turned into a boy, or whatever. We'll figure it out."

Barnaby wanted to insist once again that he and this strange 'Emily' had no relation whatsoever, but judging from previous progress, it wouldn't do him any good. He just nodded and picked up his helmet.

_This place is wrong. I don't belong here. _Barnaby thought. _But how did I even get here? And how am I supposed to get home?_

Tigress sauntered off ahead of him, apparently too disgusted by this man who had replaced her partner to spend another second looking at him. Barnaby followed, and even with a mind full of worry and stress, he found the way Tetsuko walked to be incredibly distracting.


	2. What should be done with you?

_No one believes me._

They first met Sky High, just arrived in response to the explosion, who went through the same questions as Bison, asking about the mysterious Emily, persistently referring to her as the 'normal' baseline and Barnaby as the 'abnormal' interloper.

"He has green eyes, like Miss Emily," Sky High observed. Barnaby couldn't see past his helmet, but he keenly felt the King of Heroes' curious scrutiny. "And his hair curls the same way as hers. Maybe he is a twin!"

"Bunny would've told me about a twin brother," Tetsuko shot another sour look at Barnaby.

"I'm not a twin. I'm a hero, like you," Barnaby explained, but everyone ignored him.

Next they found Saito in the Apollon Transport. Barnaby barely heard his shocked gasp as he examined Barnaby's suit, possibly more astounded by the technology than the gender-swap. Saito had Barnaby strip down to his undersuit and studied the armor pieces individually.

"So it's a fake suit. Right, Doc? It's gotta be a fake," Tetsuko insisted. "Someone copied Bunny's trackers and stuffed them in a knock-off copy."

"[That doesn't seem to be the case.]" Saito whispered. "[These are all my original systems.]"

"You're kidding! That can't be right!"

"[My hero suits are constantly online, pinging each other. The fact you could track this suit means it was running all of my signature programs—the ones I created to be only compatible with each other. Not to mention, all of the data upload ports in this suit are my custom design. I'm the only one who knows how to build them.]" Saito took the broken helmet and opened a panel inside. After poking a circuit or two, the blue eyes glowed. "[I'm fairly certain this is the suit I _would_ have designed if Emily had been a male hero.]"

Barnaby didn't say anything, but Tetsuko actively avoided his pointed I-told-you-so stare.

Agnes burst into the transport a minute later, demanding that "Tigress" explain what happened to Emily. Tetsuko retold her story of the pursuit, the explosions, and digging up a strange male-Emily. Barnaby listened carefully to Tetsuko's very 'bwaaam!' 'Kssshhhr!' and "Pwwaaah!'-heavy explanation, and realized it mirrored his memory perfectly. The three heroes in a building, chasing a criminal, Barnaby (or Emily) rushing ahead of Kotetsu (or Tetsuko), and then the corridor exploding with force and light. After that, Tetsuko dug up a person who she thought was Emily and instead found Barnaby. Like Barnaby, she had chalked up the pitch of his voice to a broken communicator, and didn't find the truth until later.

"This is no good," Agnes clicked her tongue. "If Emily has changed into a man, I have to totally rebrand everything: Tigress and Barnaby…"

"It's catchy," Barnaby slid his opinion in.

"We are _not_ replacing Bunny!" Tetsuko protested. "I don't know what happened to make _this _guy show up, but she might still be out there! We're just not looking hard enough!"

"We can do some more sweeps," Agnes waved the woman's concerns away, before looking back to Barnaby. "You. You're a NEXT, aren't you?"

Barnaby nodded. "Hundred Power. It's identical to Wild Tiger—Tigress's power."

"Huh. That's a popular power these days," Agnes's heels snapped as she left the transport. "Paramedics are on their way to give everyone emergency physicals—even our mystery man."

Mystery man. His co-workers thought he was a mystery.

"[If you're done, I'd like the undersuit for analysis, too.]" Saito spoke up almost silently.

Barnaby nodded, and reached for the zipper of his undersuit, but he barely grasped the tab before Tetsuko bolted, muttering about another search for Bunny.

"[Please forgive Tigress for being rude. This is very hard on her, with Emily missing.]" Saito explained. "[They've been partners for almost half a year, but it wasn't until a few months ago that they really bonded with each other. After the attack from—]"

"Jake Martinez," Barnaby said. "Tigress asked you for a flash grenade, which she told Emily was a sonic grenade. With false information, Emily was impervious to Jake's telepathy, so she could evade his barriers and defeat him."

Saito's jaw dropped a little bit. "[How did you know about my involvement?]"

"I remember the same thing. Wild _Tiger_ and I used the same tactics to defeat Jake. It was the first time we fully trusted each other," Barnaby looked away, realizing that if he were in Tetsuko's shoes—if, after a mysterious explosion, Kotetsu had vanished and Tetsuko appeared in his place—he would be at least as frantic as she was to find his partner again.

Thinking of the Seven Matches, Barnaby remembered something: "Dr. Saito, what is today's date?"

"[March ninth.]"

"March 1978? So Ouroboros attacked two months ago?"

"[Yes, almost exactly.]"

So the dates in this world matched up with Barnaby's memories. Tetsuko and Emily had defeated Jake Martinez the same day as Kotetsu and Barnaby. He could assume that many other events correlated, too: from their first princess carry to babysitting the mayor's son. The mundane to the life-changing, all happening twice. But how? Could Barnaby actually be in a completely different world?

The door to the transport opened again, and a young man in blue medical scrubs stepped in.

"Someone in here needed a physical?" he asked.

"That would be me," Barnaby answered.

"Woah," The man's eyebrows raised. "Are you… Um, are you related to Emily Brooks Jr, the hero?"

_Maybe I am the abnormal one_. Barnaby just shrugged and, after promising that Saito could have his undersuit after the physical, followed the paramedic to the hospital van.

* * *

Height and weight, recorded. Hearing (good), vision (atrocious). Blood pressure, heart rate, lung function measured, teeth, throat, eyes, and nose inspected, reflexes tested, blood drawn, urine sampled. There were the usual tests for Barnaby's well-being, but Barnaby knew that all these samples had a purpose: to try and prove a link between himself and Emily Brooks Jr.

Barnaby complied with medical staff instructions, blinking and bending and breathing on command, when the paramedic who had asked if Barnaby and Emily were related commented, "By the way, wicked tattoo."

Barnaby blinked. "I don't have any tattoos."

"I don't know how you could possibly forget this bad boy…"

The paramedic found a few small mirrors and angled them so that Barnaby could examine his back. Sprawled across his skin, from shoulder to shoulder and the base of his neck to his lowest lower back, an intricate pattern of black tendrils curled and twisted in a dizzying web, like lace, with only small triangles of his skin peeking through.

"That's not a tattoo," Barnaby reached around and traced his fingers over parts of the pattern. He felt no pain, no bumps or welts, no residue—the pattern blended perfect with his normal skin. "What is it?"

The paramedics had no idea, either, but they went through the motions of testing for burns, poking the pattern, and eventually taking a very tiny skin sample and another pinprick of blood from the area before leaving Barnaby alone to ponder his situation.

No one recognized him. His memories of the world and its history were accurate, and everyone here remembered the same series of events, but they remembered a different person in Barnaby's place. Everyone around him was gathering evidence of his realness, but no one could prove his validity as a person. Already, the 'not-Emily' approach everyone seemed to be taking grated against Barnaby's nerves, as if they wanted to negate his own identity. And there was nothing Barnaby could do but sit on the rickety rolling gurney, listening to the vague bustling just outside the metal capsule.

The door opened again, and Barnaby saw another familiar face.

"Mr. Maverick," Barnaby sat up straighter, but struggled to suppress his relief. _In all likelihood, he doesn't recognize you, either_.

Maverick nodded politely, and offered Barnaby a handshake. "Good afternoon. I see you know who I am. And you would be the young man the heroes found in the rubble?"

Barnaby took his hand; so formal, so cold. "Yes, sir. My name is Barnaby… Barnaby Brooks Jr. Everyone I meet either insists I am Emily, or that I've done something to her. But I don't know what happened, to her or to me."

"Well, you're clearly not Emily," Maverick said, taking a seat on an ice cooler on the opposite side of the small van. "That much is certain. But you say you are member of Brooks family, too."

"My parents were Barnaby and Emily Brooks, roboticists. But they were killed on Christmas Eve, twenty years ago. You were a friend of theirs."

Maverick nodded solemnly, but said nothing.

"You and I spent that day at a shopping center together."

"I do remember that day…" Maverick placed a hand on his chin. "Except I went to the shopping center with a little girl."

"We had our picture taken at the tree," Barnaby insisted. "You bought me a hat! And there was an ice rink—"

"_Barnaby,_" Maverick interrupted him with a very familiar tone—firm, calm, unyielding. "Don't become hysterical. Calm yourself."

Barnaby looked down, shame stinging behind his eyes. With just a word, Maverick was always able to put Barnaby's feelings into perspective, whenever he was overreacting or losing control.

"Now," Maverick began again. "It seems you remember many of the things that I know Emily remembers. I've cared for Emily ever since her parents passed away. If you remember anything out-of-place, I'd know. Memory discrepancies might be key to understanding what actually happened. Start at the beginning, and tell me about your life."

Barnaby recounted everything he could remember, from the stories his parents would read him before bed to visits to their lab, up until Christmas—_fire, gun, tattoo, fear, Jake, so much fire, so much fear_—and the days on from that, investigating Ouroboros as Maverick helped him through school and eventually Hero Academy. He graduated top of his class, trained for a few more years, then rescued Wild Tiger (Maverick didn't react to 'Tigeress's' gender change) who then became his partner. The last major event was the Seven Matches, which brought Barnaby to the present.

At the end of Barnaby's story, Maverick straightened his glasses. "Interesting. You've lived a life identical to Emily's, except you remember yourself and Wild Tigress as men."

A sinking feeling that this exercise in memory hadn't actually been helpful crept up on Barnaby. "What should we do?"

"It's not certain what should be done yet, but I think it's a little clearer what has happened," Maverick said. "Do you believe in alternate universes?"

"I've never thought about them in terms of belief or not," Barnaby said. "I am aware of the concept, though."

"The best explanation that can account for these simultaneous differences and similarities is that you are now in a universe, parallel to yours, where you and Wild Tiger were born female."

"Just us two?" Why would there be a whole universe dedicated to such a small change?"

"Some physicists theorize infinite numbers of parallel universes. The same way there's a universe where you and Tiger are men, there's one where you two are women, one where you're rocket scientists, or one where you're ballet dancers, or criminals, and maybe even one where you're squids at the bottom of the ocean. I would guess it's sheer coincidence that the accident in the crumbling building sent you to this universe. But I would count yourself lucky, since I don't think you could have lasted long in the squid universe."

Barnaby didn't want to think too hard about that one.

"Don't worry, Barnaby," Maverick stood up slowly. "I'll smooth over your presence in regards to Hero TV, then get you a temporary ID card and arrange a residence. You may be a temporal-spatial anomaly, but I won't abandon any child of the Brooks, male or female."

"Thank you, sir," Barnaby said. "I appreciate it."

Maverick turned toward the van door. "If you need anything else, let me know."

"Sir?" Barnaby spoke up, and Maverick paused. "I'd like a chance to speak with Tigress as well. Could you send her to speak with me once she's not busy?"

"I could ask for her now, if you like," Maverick offered.

"No, I won't do that to her. If she's anything like my partner, she'll only want to talk when she's absolutely sure Emily doesn't still need her help."

"You know your partner very well," Maverick commented. "I can request for her to speak with you once the searches are finished."

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

It took almost another hour before the door to the medical van opened again, and Tetsuko climbed inside. She had changed out of her hero suit and into a very familiar set of street clothes—a green dress shirt with three-quarter sleeves, a black tie with white button accents, a cream-colored vest, black around the legs, saddle shoes, and a white newsboy cap with a black stripe. But, all of Kotetsu's clothes had been modified just enough to fit a more feminine style: the saddle shoes had an inch of heel, his slacks swapped for pantyhose and a mid-thigh-length black skirt, and the vest dipped a little lower and wider. Not to mention Kotetsu's female form was rather… _busty_. Barnaby struggled not to stare at the 'addition.'

Most important of all, Tetsuko still wore her domino mask.

She folded her arms and glared at Barnaby. "Would it kill you to put on a shirt?"

"I don't have one," Barnaby said. The hospital blanket covered his legs and underwear, but little else. He did wish he had a shirt of some kind; the black design on his back burned like a poorly kept secret. At the current angle, Tetsuko couldn't see, but Barnaby dreaded needing to explain it to her.

"Figures," she mumbled. "So? You wanna talk?"

"Yes," Barnaby said, a little taken aback. _She acts like Kotetsu, but her behavior still feels feminine. Or at least, not overly masculine._ "I wanted to say I'm sorry that Emily is missing. I promise, if I knew anything about what had happened to her, I would tell you."

Tetsuko scoffed. _So why bother talking to me?_

"You obviously care about her very much. If my partner were missing, I would be very upset as well." Barnaby took a breath. "I think you're a lot like him."

"I remind you of a man?" Tetsuko bristled.

"It's not like that. I've noticed some things about you that are very familiar."

"Like?"

"He likes adding sound effects to his stories. His expressions are very vivid and honest. And… he eats the ice in his drinks."

Tetsuko gaped at him. "How did you know I do that?"

Barnaby continued. "He puts mayonnaise on everything he eats, cuts his nails so short he can't scratch anything, and does his math on an abacus at work. Combined with the slow calculations and a tendency to procrastinate on office work, he never finishes his paperwork on time, so our boss, Mr. Lloyds, yells at him."

"You know Lloyds?" Tetsuko asked. "How?"

Barnaby just continued, "But more important than any of that, he's the kind of person who wants recognition for his work. He buys his own unsold trading cards so they won't look unpopular, but then he can't even give them away for free, and that hurts him. Even so, he'd give up all the points and credit and fame in a heartbeat if it meant saving a life. Because that's what being a hero is about." Barnaby smiled a little bit at Tetsuko. "And if you're anything like that, then naturally, you'd remind me of my partner."

Tetsuko stared at Barnaby, her eyes wide, and Barnaby met her gaze. Her eyes looked larger than Kotetsu's, a bit softer, too—"What are you doing?"

Tetsuko grabbed a stray clipboard and started struggling to open a retractable pen, unsure if it clicked or twisted.

"Did you and, uh, 'him' babysit the mayor's son?"

"Yes, along with Dragon Kid."

Tetsuko finally opened the pen and shoved the clipboard at Barnaby. "What was the symbol she—ah, well, you—showed him? Draw it and tell me what it means."

Barnaby took the clipboard, but paused. "These are medical forms."

"It's okay, they're blank."

"It is not okay. Paramedics use these to save lives."

"Paper doesn't save lives! And it's not like they're filled in!"

"We still shouldn't waste emergency medical supplies!"

"Just draw already, Bunny!" Tetsuko snapped, but she caught herself. "I—I mean… Barnaby."

For the first time, some version of Kotetsu wanted to use Barnaby's first name—but somehow, it felt like another marker of difference, erasure of identity. With the theory of alternate universes explaining this overwhelming change, Barnaby wanted at least one usual bond between himself and Kotetsu—or, Tetsuko.

Swallowing his pride, Barnaby raised his hands beside his head and mimicked bunny ears. "I… am not Bunny," he couldn't bring himself to sing-song, but he twitched his hands encouragingly.

Tetsuko's eyebrows shot up in recognition. "The Steel Hammer statue!" she exclaimed, and instantly stuck her own hands beside her ears, wiggling them much more vigorously. "I am not Bunny! I am not Bun-neee!"

"I didn't say it like that!"

"I didn't say it like thaaat!" Tetsuko cracked up, laughing at the memory, as Barnaby smiled, grateful to have her laughing instead of scowling. And her laugh sounded nice—bright, honest. Almost pretty. Kotetsu's laugh didn't sound like that… did it? Maybe Barnaby hadn't paid enough attention.

"For the record," Barnaby said when the laughter died down. "The symbol you wanted me to draw is the mark of Ouroboros. It led me to my parents' killer, Jake Martinez, who you helped me defeat and convinced me not to kill."

Tetsuko looked at Barnaby again, her eyes full of honest appraisal for the first time. No judgment, no anger. Her head quirked to one side. "So you're really who Bunny would be, if she was a guy?"

"I would view that from the opposite perspective," Barnaby said. "You are who Kotetsu would be if he were a female."

"I mean, I heard about the alternate reality idea, but actually seeing you is something else…" Tetsuko continued staring, thinking, before she squeaked and turned away. "Dammit, you're _still_ not wearing a shirt!"

"I told you, I don't have any clothes."

"I'll go and fix that!" Tetsuko called over her shoulder as she darted out of the van.

_That's strange. I never noticed Kotetsu acting so body-shy before._ Barnaby thought. _Or maybe there are a few traits unique to Tetsuko._ How Tetsuko had forgotten his half-nakedness through the course of their conversation confused him, too. But on the scale of mysteries yet to be solved, Tetsuko's aversion to his shirtless torso ranked astoundingly low.

They needed to figure out what had happened in that building—what sent Barnaby to this universe, and how to send him back. Even if Tetsuko accepted him now, Barnaby could never forget that he had a home in his world, and he needed to return. No matter how long that took, he had to stay focused on the ultimate goal.


	3. You're unexpectedly familiar

"These are Rock Bison's clothes."

"I didn't know your size, so I went big."

Barnaby fussed with the edge of the giant T-shirt, hanging low by his thighs. "Did he agree to lend them to me?"

"What do you take me for, a thief?" Tetsuko scoffed. "Of course I asked."

"Doesn't Bison need his clothes?"

"Kronos got freaked out that there's some tele-dimension-swapy mess or whatever going on. They're going to be running tests for a while, so he'll be fine with his undersuit until we get back."

Barnaby continued tugging on the shirt, at least two sizes too big and uncomfortably low-cut. The fabric covered his dreadful back, but his chest felt exposed and vulnerable. "Maybe Sky High's shirt would fit me better…"

Tetsuko suddenly seemed to notice Barnaby's predicament. "Oh! Um, oh, okay… here, use this."

She produced a black hair tie from a pocket of her skirt and held it out to Barnaby. He stared at the elastic for a second, amazed that his partner had a hair tie on his—no, _her_ person. Tetsuko wore her hair in a short, spiky style, very similar to Kotetsu's, but her hair was an inch or two longer, just enough for a small ponytail. Why _wouldn't_ she have a hair tie?

Barnaby took the stretchy band and gathered up the excess fabric in the back, raising the neckline and shortening the hem. With just a few loops around the cottony bunch, he secured the clump. Not a great knot, but a serviceable one, and certainly better than the alternative.

The confusion at the disaster site eased gradually. With confirmation that everyone was physically in good working order, various higher-ups were making decisions on what to do next. Bison had been called away for the aforementioned testing, and Barnaby knew that he and Tetsuko would soon face the same fate, but until then, Apollon had ordered Barnaby to find some clothes for himself.

Barnaby understood _how_ the duty of escorting him to buy clothing essentials fell to Tetsuko: the other heroes were preoccupied with their sponsor companies, Saito needed to thoroughly examine Barnaby's suit, and both Agnes and Lloyds got tied up in emergency meetings about what this accident meant for the immediate future of Hero TV. Tetsuko alone remained un-booked, at least for an hour or two, so she would be the one helping Barnaby find some basic supplies, not necessarily for the long-term, but just enough in case it took more than a day to sort out this disaster.

The Apollon transport ferried the two back to the building parking lot, where Tetsuko found her car. Barnaby noticed license plates identical to Kotetsu's. The interior seemed largely the same, too, but the driver's seat was pushed further forward to accommodate the difference in height between Tiger and Tigress. Tetsuko was fairly tall, but while Barnaby and Kotetsu could see eye-to-eye, Barnaby and Tetsuko were more like chin-to-eye.

"So, um, got any stores in mind?" Tetsuko asked.

"Something inexpensive. I'm spending borrowed money."

"There's an outlet mall a Stage down. Sound good?"

"That's fine."

Barnaby felt Tetsuko fidgeting, but he stared sternly out the windshield for the entire car ride. Looking at Tetsuko when he had nothing to say would just make everything more awkward, and he was developing this frustrating habit of staring at Tetsuko's chest. It wasn't like it was out of perversion or lust, just surprise! Kotetsu didn't have breasts! Of all the things that changed between Tiger and Tigress, without a doubt, the physical differences wreaked the most havoc on Barnaby's mind. While a pointed silence did little to improve the atmosphere of the car ride, Barnaby knew that half-stares and apologetic, "I'm sorry I'm not actually your partner," smiles would do even less.

_What are the boundaries in this kind of situation?_ Barnaby wondered. _For all intents and purposes, Tetsuko is the female reflection of Kotetsu, and Emily is the female reflection of myself. They seem to have a relationship similar to ours, but to what extent is it the same?_ He wished his etiquette lessons had included tips on how to handle this predicament. All of his ideas about potential differences between men or women in a professional partnership were grounded in stereotypes, and he hesitated to form a theory based on them.

A hand drifted to his cheek, where Tetsuko had slapped him, demanding to know what he had done with Emily. If he was sharing a car with her now, Barnaby and Tetsuko's relationship was already much improved from their first impressions, but all of that progress was incredibly fragile. One insensitive comparison at the wrong time could fling him all the way back to the proverbial Square One. And if Barnaby was going to spend any prolonged amount of time in this alternate universe, he needed help, which meant he needed a relationship with Tetsuko that was, if not as close as Barnaby's with Kotetsu, then at least as trusting.

_But I could get mauled by a Wild Tigress if I anger her again._

They pulled into a parking lot in front of the mall, emblazoned with signs for designer stores, only with cutesy subtitles declaring that these were 'liquidation' locations, with 'big savings' on slightly-less-than-current fashions. Barnaby didn't care much if his emergency wardrobe would be fashionable or not; he liked to wear the same clothes as long as possible, and so long as it all fit comfortably, he'd be satisfied.

"So… we're here!" Tetsuko announced, and she smiled, but with a twinge of anxiety. "I hope you like the, uh… the stuff."

"I'm sure I'll find something," Barnaby reassured her, and he smiled back, much more practiced at hiding emotional tells. "Thank you for driving me."

Tetsuko looked away and scratched just in front of her ear. "Y-Yeah. No problem."

_Kotetsu would have scratched his beard._

Inside the mall, Tetsuko quickly found a map directory, and studied it very seriously, listing off stores she thought might interest Barnaby. He listened politely, but then pointed to the nearest store, literally fifty feet to their left, and suggested, "Why don't we start there?"

Once inside, Tetsuko tried to take the lead again, picking articles of clothing and suggesting Barnaby try them on: a heavy, out of season sweater in an atrocious shade of green; a graphic tee with a dizzying design; a checkered scarf with tacky tassels.

"You don't have to worry, Tetsuko," Barnaby finally told her. "I can pick out my clothes myself."

The older woman lowered her latest offering—a plaid button-down—and pouted at Barnaby. "I'm just trying to help! These clothes look cool, right?"

"They don't," Barnaby said, but before Tetsuko could get angry, continued, "Why don't you pick something that would be more in line with Emily's tastes?"

"Yeah, well…" Tetsuko pulled a face—nose crinkled, lips bunched—and she put aside the plaid shirt. "All the stores she claims to like are sponsors she models for. She probably just says that as part of her job. Bunn—um, Emily and I have never gone shopping together, so I don't know what her actual style is like."

Barnaby knew such sponsor deals well. Admittedly, he and Emily were probably advertising different designers, but such deals came with the territory of being unfairly gorgeous. And the idea of Tetsuko and Emily not going shopping together… Well, Barnaby and Kotetsu never went shopping together, either, but the sorrow didn't seem to come from the absence of a shopping buddy—Tetsuko likely thought of it as a missed chance to be closer, like any of the dozens of times Kotetsu invited Barnaby to spend time with him, as partners.

Something must have shown on Barnaby's face, because Tetsuko suddenly laughed and waved her hand.

"It's not that bad, I promise! We're doing a lot better now! Anyway, why would Emily have time to hang out with an old lady like me when she's got so many fans drooling over her?"

"Drooling?" Barnaby repeated, smirking a little. _Some things never change._

"Sure, sure! All she has to do is strike a pose and flash one of her trademark '_Hey theres_~…'"

At 'hey there,' Tetsuko demonstrated: with a coy glint in her eye and a very subtle smirk, she leaned into one of her hips and waved her fingers. Barnaby's heart thudded hard in his chest and he felt a telltale blush rising. He had enough trouble keeping his thoughts about Tetsuko on track already, and with the presentation of that almost seductive greeting...

_That is your _partner_, that's female Kotetsu, stop thinking strange things!_

Barnaby cleared his throat. "So, would that be… Emily's signature for Hero TV?" he asked, keeping his tone as even as possible.

Tetsuko nodded, possibly oblivious to Barnaby's reaction. "Honestly, it drives me up the wall. I've spent my whole life getting advice on how to market a female power-type, and Bunny just strolls in and she's this pretty pink princess and—ah, sorry!" Tetsuko stopped and waved her hands, the nervous laughter returning. "Not that any of that's about _you_, that's not what I'm saying at all."

"There's no need to apologize. My partnership with Kotetsu had a rocky start, too. I'm fairly certain, either way, he dislikes my signature, too. He makes fun of it frequently."

"Seriously? You do 'hey there,' too?" Tetsuko said.

"I don't do 'hey there.'"

"Oh? What do you do instead?"

Barnaby looked Tetsuko over, still a little unsettled by her rendition of Emily's signature. Not that the rendition had been bad—quite the opposite. The way Tetsuko looked when she did it caught him totally by surprise, and his reaction had been shamefully inappropriate. He almost wished he could have a second chance to see it and evaluate it objectively… but somehow, he knew it he wouldn't fare any better.

Well, he did have an idea of something else he could do. He could play Tetsuko's game right back.

Feet shoulder-width apart, a casual lean in his torso, shoulders broad and strong, Barnaby closed his eyes, focused, and flashed them open, fixing Tetsuko with a smoky gaze as he saluted with two fingers and purred, "_See ya_."

A sales girl hanging around in the background squealed a little bit, a standard response, but Barnaby stayed focused on Tetsuko. The woman stared back, her eyes wide, jaw dropped, and she stayed very still for a long time. Her shoulders rose, as if she had remembered the need to breathe, and the spell was broken.

"W-Well… that's cool, too!" Tetsuko stammered. "It suits you, and—yeah, I'll let you find what you need, and um… go over there."

Even though he hadn't meant to chase Tetsuko away, Barnaby took a small amount of pride knowing he wasn't the only one suffering from his partner's startling sex switch.

Left in peace, Barnaby quickly found the basics: black shirts in a similar style to his favorites; cargo pants a few shades darker than his usual pair, but serviceable; a pair of durable tennis shoes in his size, even though he preferred boots; and to preserve his budget, a red hoodie with front zipper, mid-weight to be warm enough in the early spring and still appropriate as the weather warmed.

With his final selection of a passable belt, Barnaby looked around the store for Tetsuko, but she was nowhere to be seen. He felt a sudden twinge of regret: had he actually scared Tetsuko with his forceful 'see ya?' He should have known better than to come on so strong with a flirtatious move, with someone he needed to trust, and who he needed to trust him. What if something went wrong? What if she—

"Excuse me?"

The salesgirl from before stopped him, a blush painted across her cheeks. "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

"Yes, I have everything. Thank you," Barnaby answered, smiling a little to make her more 'accomodating.' "But, do you know where the woman accompanying me went?"

"Oh, she went to the changing rooms," the girl answered.

Barnaby thanked her and headed for the back of the store. Why would Tetsuko need the changing rooms? This store had men's clothing only—did she actually see something she wanted to try on? She could be testing clothes for someone else, but who?

Around the corner, Barnaby found a row of three stalls, with one door closed. He approached and knocked: "Tetsuko? Are you in there? I've found everything I need."

He heard a squeak and a thud, but otherwise Tetsuko said nothing. Barnaby knocked again, still confused, before giving up and deciding to wait for whatever she was planning. He glanced at himself in the tri-fold mirror stuck in the corner, distinctly aware of every bit of masculinity in his face: the shape of his jaw, his barely-visible stubble, his Adam's apple.

A minute later, the door opened, and Tetsuko stepped out into the hallway. She had discarded her shoes and stood in stocking feet, toes peeking out from under the hem of a pair of extremely baggy blue jeans. Above that, the bottom of a white shirt hung to the middle of her thighs, covered by an oversized orange sweatshirt. A backwards baseball cap topped off the entire look.

"Yo, Bunny," Tetsuko grunted, pitching her voice low. "'Sup?"

Unable to believe his eyes, Barnaby just gaped at the cross-dressing woman. She grinned and spread her arms cockily, as if challenging Barnaby to a fight.

"C'mon, bro, you gonna treat your partner like some stranger? It's me, Tiger!" Tetsuko gestured to herself.

Barnaby clapped one hand against his forehead. _Even as a woman in an alternate universe, you can't stop meddling, can you, old man?_

"Those clothes are ridiculous. You don't look like Kotetsu at all," Barnaby scolded. "What were you thinking?"

"Aw, you can tell it's me?" Tetsuko's voice returned to normal, and she pouted.

"Of course I can tell. Did you really think I would be fooled?"

"I mean, if I'm your partner as a woman, then all I need to do is wear men's clothes and I'll look like Tiger, right?" Tetsuko explained.

"Your normal clothes are almost identical to Kotetsu's already."

"They can't be, they're women's clothes."

"It's the style; the color combinations. You wear a skirt, and your vest is different, but he has the same tastes in clothing. He even wears the same tie."

"But you look almost just like Emily, so I should look just like 'him,' right? Then all I need are the right clothes and we should be identical!"

"Your bodies are… different," Barnaby struggled not to let his gaze fall again, her chest still obvious and present underneath the hoodie. "Kotetsu is also about this tall," He stepped a little closer, placed a hand at the top of his forehead, and traced it out, four inches above Tetsuko's head. She pouted again.

"So I'll wear pumps," she decided. "It's not that hard."

"Kotetsu also has a beard."

Tetsuko's eyes widened. "Really? I have a _beard_ as a guy?"

"It's very distinctive."

"Is it cool?"

Barnaby bit his tongue. In his opinion, Kotetsu's beard wasn't cool or fashionable in the least, but he felt adverse to popping Tetsuko's bright, optimistic bubble. He glanced at the mirror, and thought of a way to let her decide for herself.

"Wait a second," he said, looking around for something he could use. The changing room had an attendant's station where discarded articles could be re-hung, so Barnaby rummaged around and found a pad of sticky notes. He peeled off two and quickly tore them into approximations of Kotetsu's kitty-goatee. Then, he turned back to Tetsuko, gently stuck them on her chin, and presented her to the mirrors.

For a second, she stared at herself. "_That's_ my man-beard?" she said in disbelief.

"Do you think it's cool?"

"No way!" Tetsuko stuck out her tongue at her reflection. "Geez, I'd understand if I had a Mr. Legend beard, but this is just ridiculous!"

"He refuses to change it, no matter who tells him it's uncool."

"Let me at 'em! I'll smack grooming sense into his damn head!" Tetsuko decided, but she smiled broadly. The threat was most likely empty. "What's he even going for? Fangs?"

"Possibly. He's never explained himself," Barnaby grinned, before he realized—he was grinning. Flung into a parallel universe where his partner was a woman and no one recognized him? What did he possibly have to smile about? He should be finding a way home, not to mention he had only come to this store because he didn't own any clothes of his own. Tetsuko had only driven him because he couldn't operate his own car without a driver's license. They shouldn't be playing games in a changing room. Why was he so relaxed around this woman? He wanted trust and respect, certainly, but Barnaby almost felt like he was having _fun_.

_Well, it was my goal for us to get along. So this is a good thing… right?_

Tetsuko changed out of the ridiculous outfit, and they paid for Barnaby's clothes with no trouble. After another well-placed smile, the sales girl let Barnaby back into the dressing rooms to change into his new purchases, and the two left the mall.

"Huh, not sure I can see Emily pulling off that look," Tetsuko decided, examining Barnaby head to toe.

"I don't wear clothes like this regularly, but beggars can't be choosers."

"Good way of looking at it…" Tetsuko agreed. "Ah, right! Do you need any toiletries? Shampoo, soap, razor?"

"Actually, I do," Barnaby said. "Would you mind stopping at a drugstore before we return to Apollon?"

"Sure thing, Bunny-boy."

Barnaby stopped in his tracks. "Did you just call me… Bunny-_boy_?"

Tetsuko looked back over her shoulder with a sly grin. "I did," she said. "I've got two Bunnies in my life, and I gotta find some way to keep them straight. So, Emily is Bunny, and you are _Bunny-boy_."

With that, Tetsuko continued walking, humming "Go NEXT" as Barnaby stared after her.

"…Please choose a different nickname," Barnaby mumbled, a feeble protest he was fairly certain Tetsuko couldn't even hear. "Bunny-boy is too…"

Frankly, to him, 'Bunny-boy' sounded positively indecent. But Tetsuko probably knew that.


	4. Your habits are hard to break

Once they finished shopping for Barnaby's essentials, Tetsuko and Barnaby drove to the hospital for their turn under the microscope. He felt a little hesitant to separate from Tetsuko, into the clutches of researchers, but he said nothing, swallowed back his feelings, and followed the medical-scrub-clad assistants into the hospital for more thorough scans.

The simple tests from earlier matched Barnaby to Emily's blood type, and in a few days they'd have more complete DNA evidence. In the meantime, they put Barnaby through various brain scanners and drew even more blood, searching for inter-dimensional pathogens or other potential irregularities. The most they did was confirm Barnaby's terrible vision and chilly but healthy body temperature. He soon figured out that the doctors had the same tests ordered for Tetsuko as he passed the woman multiple times in the hallway, shipping the two of them back and forth between testing rooms. With each meeting, she vivaciously waved a hand and exclaimed, "Bunny-boy! Fancy meeting you here!" with a bright, cheesy smile. Barnaby's cheeks got a little warmer as he struggled to reply, settling for something along the lines of, "I hope you're not causing trouble for the doctors." With that, they passed, while Barnaby gave himself a mental wrist-slap for scolding Tetsuko, simply because he knew Kotetsu was a terrible hospital patient. But, even after three encounters, she seemed to think nothing of Barnaby's pointed advice.

When the doctors declared Barnaby fit for discharge, he found Agnes waiting for him with a manila envelope.

"Tomorrow, we're going to announce that Emily is out on an injury-related hiatus, since we didn't air the footage from when the heroes dug you up," Agnes explained. "This means Tigress is partner-less until we find out how to bring Emily back, but that's easier than trying to debut you and explain where we found _another_ hero with Hundred Power who looks suspiciously like Emily Brooks Jr."

Barnaby just nodded, not in the mood for another argument over his validity as an individual distinct from Emily. Agnes passed him the envelope.

"So long as you're here, you'll spend workdays with Dr. Saito as an intern. He'll be responsible for you, and you'll help him to the best of your ability. For evenings and nights, you should either stay within five blocks of your assigned residence, or with a hero. The hotel booking information is in the envelope, but if you turn out to be a longer guest, we'll move you to an apartment."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Barnaby said.

"I thought you'd agree with me on that point. You have a provisional ID, as well as a charge card for basic living expenses. Please keep your situation in mind when you decide to spend money. If you use the card inappropriately, you'll find yourself treated less like a person and more like a lab rat. Understand?"

"Yes, Ms. Agnes," Barnaby answered. "If that's all, I'd like to wait for Tetsuko to finish her testing."

"Her tests are already done. She's left."

"I see," Barnaby said. Either Tigress followed his advice and was a model patient, or she had fewer tests than Barnaby thought. "Thank you anyway."

The hotel Agnes had booked for him was in the Bronze Stage, but definitely habitable, almost comfortable. Actually, it had just about everything Barnaby had in his own apartment, and even as lower-quality than his usual standard, he found no complaint in the bed, the shower, or the cleanliness and noise levels. However, he quickly realized that the room lacked a computer and connection to the Internet. He should start getting his bearings, and the first step in that process was research.

The hotel offered a complementary computer terminal in the lobby, but when Barnaby went to check it out, he found it in use, so he sat by for twenty minutes and pretended to read a newspaper, waiting for it to free up. Once it finally did, Barnaby discretely—but no less forcefully—leapt on the machine and opened a browser for the main Hero TV website.

The layout was identical, right down to the text font and size. The current leader board dominated the front page, with Sky High on top and Emily Brooks Jr close behind him. The others had the exact same point totals that Barnaby had left behind in his universe: Blue Rose on Emily's heels, then Dragon Kid, Fire Emblem, Wild Tigress in sixth, gaining on Fire Emblem just like the Tiger that Barnaby had left. Under her, Rock Bison and Origami Cyclone were close in points. No differences to be seen there.

He scrolled over to a sidebar and clicked on an "Our Heroes" tab. The link took him to another page, featuring three-quarter portraits of all eight heroes on a scrolling carousel. The images of the other six heroes were identical, but Tetsuko and Emily's poses caught his eye. Tetsuko had her fists raised, spread just wide enough to display the SoftBank logo, prepared for a fight. Barnaby knew the Agnes from his universe favored a different pose for Kotetsu: arms flexed back, elbows out, and thumbs in, directing attention to his logo. Then just after Wild Tigress, Emily stood, poised and definitely pretty, even in a full suit of armor. She had her hands folded on one hip, not very battle-ready, but Emily's helmet gave her face a downward-sloping glare, and with her chin low, her mask conveyed a formidable glare.

Barnaby clicked on Emily, loading the biography page, featuring more pictures and the short biography that appeared on all the hero trading cards.

_Emily Brooks Jr: The new rookie hero, and the first to fight crime without a secret identity. Devoted to truth and justice, she uses her fresh new approach to heroism to protect the citizens of Sternbild. She has the ability to use Hundred Power for 5 minutes, and specializes in kicks. Affiliated with Apollon Media. _

A rather standard biography, very similar to Barnaby's own, just with the pronouns changed. He scanned the other photos of Emily, showing off more action-based kicks and poses, including one photo of Emily without her helmet. She did have much more hair than Barnaby, cascading down to her shoulder blades in fluffy curls, but the shape of her face, the shade of blonde, and the green eyes were unmistakable. Barnaby was struck with the sensation of looking in a very old mirror: it didn't reflect anything that wasn't there, but the final image still wasn't quite right.

After studying his female self for a minute, Barnaby clicked back and loaded the Wild Tigress biography.

_A veteran hero who made her debut twelve years ago. She may be past her prime, but she is passionately obsessed with her duties. __Often known as the "Crusher for Justice," she has the ability to use Hundred Power for only 5 minutes. Mainly, the punch is her specialty. Affiliated with Apollon Media._

Practically word-for-word a copy of Kotetsu's bio, but the years of duty made Barnaby pause. Tigress had a longer career than Tiger? That didn't seem right. Barnaby couldn't quantify one or the other as more devoted to heroism, so why was Tetsuko's debut so much earlier than Kotetsu's? Barnaby scrolled down to the highlights section and found his answer. Though she had debuted two years earlier, just a year into her career, Tetsuko vanished from the hero lineup for just shy of two years. Why would she take such an abrupt leave of absence?

_But of course_. Barnaby thought with a smile. _You're a mother in this universe, Kotetsu, not a father._

Back when the mayor had left his son for babysitting, Kotetsu admitted that he had a nine-year-old daughter. If that same daughter—or really, any other child—existed in this world, then female Kotetsu would have taken maternity leave, and the listed absent years matched perfectly with the age of a pre-teen child. The leave was much longer than women in normal desk jobs, but that was to be expected, considering the danger of hero work. The instant she learned she was pregnant, Tetsuko dropped from Hero TV to protect the baby. But, just like his partner, Tetsuko returned the instant she had a clean bill of health and could heave her child in good confidence.

Barnaby stared at the biography photo of Wild Tigress. _I wasn't paying attention earlier, but does Tetsuko wear the same wedding ring as Kotetsu? Does this mean Kotetsu's wife has a male counterpart here?_ He frowned suddenly, remembering another detail. _Or maybe his wife_ had_ a male counterpart._ He couldn't discount the possibility that Tetsuko's husband, living or dead, was a person completely distinct from Kotetsu's wife, and not another gender-swapped counterpart.

"Ex_cuse_ me, mister," a voice interrupted him. Barnaby looked up at a buck-toothed girl about twelve years old. "Can _I_ use the computer? I need to check my Facepage."

Barnaby wasn't finished. He had to look up Tetsuko and Emily's sponsors to see if they matched, he needed to check their arrest records, he needed to learn how this world functioned and decide how he was going to function in this world… but an obnoxious kid had no way of knowing Barnaby was a traveler from another dimension, so he sighed, closed out of his browser, and gave the computer to the young social media addict.

Even with no more Internet access, Barnaby's room still had a TV. He couldn't search for information directly, but he turned on the OBC network and hoped for something Hero TV-related to play while he settled in. His meager belongings lined the bottom of a single dresser drawer and left a huge hollow space. The alarm clock by his bed had two settings, 'on' and 'off,' so he set an alarm for the next morning. He paused a few times for advertisements featuring heroes: Blue Rose for Pepsi. Rock Bison for Gyu-Kaku. Dragon Kid for Calbee.

And Emily Brooks Jr for Neutrogena face cleanser.

Barnaby sat at attention and scrutinized the ad. First and foremost, the ad began with the 'hey there' that Tetsuko had demonstrated, but Barnaby found it far less effective when Emily used it, possibly out of an understanding that Emily was, in many ways, himself. The ad stayed tasteful and focused on Emily's face, but Barnaby got a quick glimpse of Emily's 'three sizes:' less busty than Tetsuko, but with curvier hips, toned to perfection from hours of leg exercises. A few choice words stuck out from the otherwise generic advertisement: 'natural,' 'pure,' and 'perfect.'

Even after just one ad, Barnaby was starting to form a sense of how the female heroes in this world were marketed. Blue Rose, ever the same, was a dominatrix, a beautiful woman pushing the man around and making him beg. Meanwhile, judging from Tetsuko's complaints about a rocky history with her 'image,' Wild Tigress had settled into a type beyond sexuality. She was a mother-figure by now, too rough-and-tumble to be attractive anyway, at least in the eyes of contemporary society. There would always be niche for older women, but it was too fringe for Apollon, and possibly TopMag before them, to consider billing Tetsuko as a sex icon.

And then, Emily Brooks Jr. She seemed to have hit the mark right on the head, a powerful hero according to the hero boards and her victory over Jake, but still advertised as elegant, polite, and gentle. In many ways, she represented an ideal wife: an independent woman who wouldn't cause drama with her own problems, but kind enough to support him in turn and accept his affections with perfect grace. In no way a pushover, in no way pushy, she occupied a happy medium with widespread appeal. The perfect 'real girl.' Barnaby had to smirk a little. If Emily's road to being a hero was anything like Barnaby's, there was almost nothing real about her real-girl character.

But then again, these three women created a character trifecta: a mother, a wife, and a seductress. _Ms. Agnes must be in heaven._

The ads were too few and far between for Barnaby to glean much more beyond his initial evaluation. The normal news remained unhelpful, too. Wishing for a computer, he arranged the pillows behind him and sat on the bed, still watching the TV but gradually becoming less and less alert. Every so often a particular picture or sound sparked a thought, but they quickly faded as Barnaby drifted off.

_It's a shame that Tigress is billed as a mother and nothing more. _His eyes fluttered shut, and he lacked the will to open them again. _Because she's actually kind of pretty… Probably, to someone… she's pretty…_


End file.
